Loopholes
by Rachel Ewok
Summary: This is a response to the 100 Kisses and Illegal Alien Challenges. It tells the story of how Beetle Juice became Juno's assistant and how he became a bio-exorcist... Starts in the 1300s, all the way up to meeting Lydia! A disco Beej? Intruiged? Read on!
1. Chapter 1: The End and a Beginning

_A/N: Hey all, this is a response to London's Illegal Alien Challenge on 'The Glow'. It's also a response to __Llewlyn and__ Doormouse's 100 Kisses Challenge, since I'll be using at least one of the items from 'the list' to be in Beetlejuice's pocket. I hope its okay; I tried to be historically accurate, but sometimes you need to bend things to make 'em fit… I hope this is at least worth a couple of reviews because I've really enjoyed coming up with these plot pieces to fit in the challenge. Enjoy! _

_(BTW, sorry this is sort of a long chapter… Just bear with me. ;) )_

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Loopholes: A Beetle Juice Fanfiction

Chapter 1

_The End and a Beginning_

Sister Julia looked up at the high rafters of the cathedral, listening to the bells and the echoes of other Sisters singing in the Chapel. How could they sing at a time like this? It felt like the entire world was ending, what with all the sick in their infirmary how could they possibly dedicate time to all of the people and still have the time to go on with daily prayers and song?

She turned and walked hurriedly down the darkened hallway, her black skirts swishing about her ankles. She was one of the oldest Sisters in the convent but Sister Julia still felt like a young woman at heart. She never did tire of caring for those around her, and with this Black Death killing so many each day; people needed her more than ever.

The coughing and moans could be heard before she could even see the door. The screams and cries for help and mercy used to sicken Julia but they did no longer. These screams haunted her dreams and followed her thoughts throughout the day.

She pushed open the large oak door with a creak and she was hit with the smell of death, blood, and vomit. Her nose wrinkled as a reflex but even the smell had been bothering her less and less in the past months.

She walked in, and almost immediately she felt feeble hands grabbing her skirts. "Sister." The voice croaked, "Water." Julia couldn't even tell if the poor wretch was a man or a woman any more, the person's skin was so marred with the boils and scars from the disease, and pus and blood was caked all over their skin.

Julia touched the person's forehead and lifted a ladle filled with water to their lips. "God bless you." Julia murmured as the person tried to sip the water through their cracked, dry lips. "Thank you." The person coughed, blood spurting out of their mouth, and then he or she breathed no more.

Julia whispered a quiet prayer for the poor fellow's soul and waved another Sister, who had been standing in a corner by a large double door, over to the body. The younger Sister looked sadly down at the dead body, shut its eyes and began to load it on to the cart she had dragged over.

Sister Julia looked grimly over the large room filled with rows and rows of dingy beds, which the Sisters tried to keep clean despite that there was almost always an occupant in each one.

Suddenly movement in the corner furthest from her caught her eye. She looked over and moved closer, and saw, in dismay, a seedy looking man rifling through the pockets of the patient's in the beds closest to him.

He had a giddy grin on his face as he pocketed loose change and jewelry. He was sickly looking, with greasy hair and pale, pale skin. "Stop!" Cried Sister Julia to the man, and he looked up with wide eyes, but a smirk on his lips.

He quickly turned to run to the nearest exit and ran out the doors. Julia, with a burst of youthful vigor ran after him, out the doors and into the streets of Paris. She trailed him to a dead end street with buildings on each side. He backed into a corner and Julia stalked closer.

"Thou aught to be ashamed of thyself; stealing in the House of God." Julia was seething, her eyes narrowed at the sinner.

"Hear me, _sister._" The man sneered, "Thou may give up all earthly pleasures of life in thy Convent, but I cannot live merely on the dirt and bugs of the streets." He snorted after his last word and stomped a particularly large beetle that happened to be walking by his feet.

Julia's heart softened ever so slightly towards the man. Those who were not infected with the Plague most often reverted to stealing and looting to buy their bread. "You poor wretch." Julia took a step closer, "May God have mercy on thy soul."

He rolled his eyes and snorted again brushing his filthy blonde hair from his dark eyes. "Leave thy mercies for the dying and sick, _sister_. I have no need for thy help or thy pity." He shoved his hands in his pockets. Julia noted his long disgusting fingernails and the rips and tatters in his tunic and leggings. His shoes could barely pass for shoes any longer, his toes stuck out of holes on the ends and in Julia's heart she felt sympathy.

"Our good Father forgives thee for thy sins if thou wouldst repent." Julia gave him a warm gentle smile.

"I would never repent Sister. I feel no sorrow for anything I have done." He replied with a smirk.

Julia shook her head, "What be'est thy name poor fellow? I must know so I may pray for thee."

"My name be'est Brishen Jaeston, but save thy prayers for I do not believe in thy God who killed my family." His upper lip curled, showing his crooked, yellowed teeth.

Julia opened her mouth to speak but she suddenly heard screams behind her and smelled smoke in the air. She ran to the end of the street and cried out in horror to see her Convent engulfed in flames. She whipped around to Brishen.

"What hast thou done?" She punctuated her words with a deathly glare and Brishen could only shrug and throw up his hands with a sneer on his lips.

"Why dost thou thinkest I be the soul to blame?" He winked and turned to look at the flames, with an almost admiring stare.

Julia could only fall to her knees and wail out prayers to God to save the wretches inside. She could not get in; when she pushed the nearest door she realized had been blocked by a huge rafter which had fallen inside.

She ran backwards and stood, Brishen a few feet behind her. She turned to him, wails and screams of the burning people coming from the cathedral. "Cursed are you." She whispered jabbing a bony, wrinkled finger toward him. "May thee forever be bound to me, in eternal servitude in death and beyond. May thou never forgest what thou hast done today."

Brishen Jaeston snorted and slapped his knees, "You jest! Thou believest _I_ believe in an Afterlife? Why dost thou think I steal things in the House of God?" He chose to say just one thing he had done, as he didn't need to be pegged for the burning of the Convent.

"Forever may thou suffer." The helpless Sister cried out to him. Then looked back to the burning cathedral and fell to her knees pulling out a small dagger from her sleeves. Brishen's eyes widened, he didn't realize nuns carried anything like _that_.

"Because I have failed to help my Sisters and the Wretches inside the Convent I beg God for mercy." She cried, raised the knife to her throat and slit it. Brishen ran to the side of the sister, who had slumped over, dropping the dagger.

He pushed her backwards, laying her so she was facing upwards at the heavens. Her eyes still had the slightest amount of life in them, but when she opened her mouth to speak one last time, blood ran from her lips and the gash in her throat was gurgling with the red liquid.

Brishen watched as the life drained from her eyes and then he checked her body for anything that may have been useful. Finding only a string of rosary beads he palmed them and looked around. Everyone was busy with the fire and he pocketed the beads and disappeared into the shadows.

***

Sister Julia walked through a hallway with an eerie green light. Terrible thoughts were running though her mind, suicide was a sin wasn't it? But it was an honorable death she had died. Could the Saints really deny her passage into Heaven? Especially after the long, holy, and chaste life she had lived?

Finally after what felt like years, she stepped into a room, tall shadowy figures were standing about and what appeared to be their heads turned when she walked in. "Sister Julia. We have been waiting for you."

Their voices echoed in a ghostly manner and it sent shivers up and down Julia's spine. "For me?" She managed to whisper, her wrinkled features wrinkling more with worry. _Was this Hell_?

One shadowy figure stepped forward and handed her a leather bound book. "Read this. It will explain everything. You are not in Hell nor are thy in Heaven. Read, then we shall speak."

Julia looked at the cover of the book in her hands; in gold script it said "Ye Olde Handbook For Thou Who Hast Just Departed the World of the Living". _Long Title. _She frowned, and began to read.

***

Brishen Jaeston stepped quietly into a dark alley, maneuvering about the dead and some alive, boil covered bodies which littered the streets. His shoes barely made sound on the cobblestone street. Finally he reached his destination, he looked around making sure no one was watching and then knocked on the wooden door three times and it opened with a loud 'creeeaaaaakkkk'. He shivered at the noise.

He stepped gingerly into the darkened room and spoke. "I did as you asked." He wrung his hands, waiting for the reply. Suddenly candles ignited all throughout the darkened room, giving it an ethereal, flickering glow.

Brishen could now see the person who he had come to see. A dark sinister man with a long white beard was sitting in the center of the room on a chair facing the opposite direction. "I saw the flames from here Brishen. Good work." The man answered in a raspy voice.

"I think you are finally ready for the gift I have promised thee." He rasped, and Brishen could only grin in delight. Power? Immortality? These were the things that the magician had promised. Brishen could live without the immortality but he wanted the powers bestowed upon him. Making him a powerful sorcerer: he would never go hungry again, and people would finally respect him.

"There is one last thing I require." The man got up from his chair and stepped toward Brishen, one of his legs didn't work and with the sound of one step there would be the sound of a drag. _Step drag, step drag, step drag. _The noise made the hair on the back of Brishen's neck prickle.

He gulped, "What is it you require my lord?" He couldn't imagine what else was needed in exchange for the power.

"I require thy heart, Brishen Jaeston." He reached out a twisted, gnarled hand toward Brishen's chest. "Do you want this? Do you want to throw away thy life for power?"

_Well of _course! Brishen responded silently. There was nothing left for him here anyway, not after his family had succumbed to the Death. It would probably kill him, but wouldn't that make him immortal? And _powerful_? If he got unlimited power and control from one measly heart what was the problem?

"Get on with it." Brishen said, a bit of daring in his voice.

"Very well." The man cackled and reached for Brishen's chest, his hand burned a hole right where Brishen's heart was and pulled it out, bleeding and beating. Brishen looked at it in terror and gasped a few times and looked down at the hole in his chest in awe as it closed up. Then he fell to the floor in a crumpled heap.

***

Julia looked up from the Handbook. "So I could have run away and joined a roving band of gypsies if I had wanted to?" Her voice was shrill with annoyance. "I didn't _need_ to be a nun all my life?" She curled her lip sarcastically. "Great." She sat back with a 'humph' blowing the dust out of the seat cushions. She had liked being a nun though, she reflected, she liked helping people.

"Sister Julia." One of the tall shadows spoke. "Yeah, what do _you_ want?" She muttered folding her arms. Two of the shadows towards the back looked at each other with a certain glee that Julia couldn't quite figure out.

"You have just proven you are perfect for the job we need you to do Julia." The head shadow spoke.

Julia stared at them with bored eyes, trying to count them. There were at least three, maybe four and they all seemed strangely pleased with her.

"You see Julia." Another one of the shadows began, "We're the Netherworld Council… We've been watching you a long time, and we've been waiting for someone just like you to take the position that we're about to give you." He gestured towards her with his spectral arm.

"We need you to be the head of public relations. We think you have the stuff for the position." He continued in his whispery voice.

"But why me?" Julia asked disinterestedly.

"We have a way of knowing these things." The first shadow explained, "And because you committed suicide you become a civil servant of sorts."

Julia rolled her eyes, _Great._ Was all she could think. Her cheery, nunny, disposition was suddenly disappearing about as fast as a cart full of bread on the streets of Paris. She was becoming a lot more cynical and a bit more sarcastic. Why hadn't someone told her all of this very _vital_ information, _before_ she died?

"You're going to have to give up your name, and your title." A third shadow towards the back said, with a deeper voice than the other two who had spoken.

"That's right." The fourth shadow Council member piped in, this one had a more feminine voice. "No longer will you be called Julia, from now on your name is Juno."

Juno shook her head; somehow she knew that had been coming. Not that it mattered; did she really have a choice? She was dead already.

"You will be head of public relations for…" The first spirit paused, "Well the rest of eternity. We already know you're going to do a great job." He gave what appeared to be a thumbs up.

Juno sighed, "Well, where do I start?"

"We already have an-" The spirit was interrupted by a small, gangly creature who walked into the middle of the room. "Hanzi is at it again…" He squeaked in a high pitched voice.

The head shadow sighed and clasped his hand to his forehead. "Pulled the heart right out of him right?"

"Yup." The creature squeaked, "Gave him some seriously powerful powers too."

"Great." The female shadow groaned. "Hanzi is a powerful sorcerer; we can't _wait_ for him to die. He claims to be able to give people powers…. And he can, but kills them in the process." She explained, paused, and then continued. "But then we end up with very powerful dead who don't really know what to make of their new found magic." She sighed.

"Juno, this is going to be your first task. We'll walk you through it this time but then you'll be on your own… There's a whole handbook especially for you." The deeper voiced spirit told her.

"Oh great. I'm positively shaking with excitement." Juno mumbled.

"Here he comes now." The small messenger squawked, and lo and behold an unconscious man came floating in and landed on the floor in the middle of the four Council members and Juno.

"Hey I know him. That's Brishen Jaeston." Juno said the most excitement in her voice since she had gotten here.

"Usually we feed them to the sandworms," The head spirit droned, "but since this is your first job, let's see what _you_ want to do." He handed her another leather bound book and Juno flipped through it.

"Well, I sorta… Said something to this guy." She muttered, flipping though the pages. Then she stopped and quickly read over the page towards the end of the book. "Got it." She smiled.

"Repress all of his powers and memories, so he can't figure out he has them." She paused looking Brishen over, "Then he'll be my assistant." Juno nodded her head matter-of-factly. She snapped her fingers without even having to think, her job was coming naturally to her.

"Assistant? Juno I-" The head spirit began tentatively, "Uh, uh, uh!" Juno held up her hand, stopping him from speaking. "Who is head of Public Relations? I'm dealing with this guy _my_ way." She smiled wickedly.

"He's coming around!" The small mousy looking creature squeaked. Juno suddenly realized it was a little person with a shrunken head.

"My… head." He groaned, looking around. His blonde hair stuck up wildly everywhere and he suddenly sat up rigidly on the ground. "What the hell?"

"No not hell." Juno smiled, "Just the Netherworld.

"What…?" Brishen garbled, "Who am I? Why do I hurt all over?" He looked up at Juno with his dark eyes, sucking his teeth in confusion, his legs were sprawled out on the floor and he was leaning back on his arms.

"Your name…" Juno began, looking down trying to think. Then she remembered him squishing bugs in the alley. "Your name is Beetlejuice. And you're my assistant." She cackled. Beetlejuice, what a laugh! That was a joke that would keep her laughing for at least a couple millennia. Suddenly things were looking up. Beetlejuice. Ha. She grinned.

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_A/N: Thanks for reading, expect more chapters soon! FYI, Brishen is an actual name from medieval times which means 'one who was born in the rain'. I just thought that was interesting. :-P Gah! Don't laugh at me! I know this whole idea is corny, but can't you just SEE Beej in the Dark Ages? Plus I love this challenge, and I've always wanted to know why Beej is Juno's assistant and how he can get away with what he does... Now I'm finding out! ;)_


	2. Chapter 2: Rules

Loopholes

Chapter 2

_Rules_

"Juno we need to talk." The gruff voice sounded on the other side of her oaken door. Blank faced, wrinkled Juno looked up, her eyes half open, and said nothing. She brushed a non-existent wrinkle from her skirts and looked up again.

"NOW!" Yelled, who Juno could only imagine was the head of the Council. She sighed, it must be important if he was coming down off his important little pedestal to talk with her.

She snapped her fingers and the door swung open. The not-quite-person-not-quite-shadow stormed across the room in front of her desk and threw a huge folder with tremendous force down on her desk.

Juno looked up at him, a slight curl to her upper lip she looked down at the folder, and took a breath. But before she could even ask, the shadow yelled in a voice that was much to loud to possibly belong to a disembodied spirit,

"Beetlejuice!" Juno sat back in her chair in a flop of annoyance at the mention of her assistant's name. "I don't know why the hell you even bother with him Juno, but he's gone way too far." He gestured to the folder conveying to her that he wanted her to look through it.

"I don't see what trouble he could get himself into, I mean he's just a poltergeist… Not a very good one at that," She added half to herself and began to flip through the file, "And all I did was send him to France, what with that revolution going on? I needed a headcount…" She stopped at something her jaw falling open.

"Dear god…." She mumbled, "Is that….." She glanced up to the shadow for confirmation.

"Marie Antoinette? Yes… Before she was dead even…" The Councilman mused.

Juno shook her head and continued to peruse through the file mumbling along the way, "Joan of Arc? Damn him he's busy…" Then she stopped again. "What the HELL is this?" She pulled a piece of paper out and waved it around in the air.

"It's carved on the side of the pyramids." The Councilman prompted, "Read it." He urged her.

Juno scanned the page, her face growing more annoyed each moment. Finally she threw it down and looked up, "Bio-exorcist?" She said blankly, "On the pyramids too…" She shook her head looking down at the file again.

"He needs parameters set." The shadowy Councilman began, "You've been sending him off around the globe with no rules, no restrictions." He trailed off, "And if he ever found out about his powers…" He shook his head, "Its only a matter of time; he can _do_ things make them appear, disappear, twist things around. Figured it out much easier that _just_ another poltergeist." Juno cringed at his words.

"Besides we don't want to relive the whole _William Wallace_ fiasco do we?" The Councilman tapped his phantom foot making no noise, but the gesture was enough to make Juno want to go crazy. Maybe she already was.

"The Wallace deal wasn't even that bad," Juno began trying to _defend_ Beetlejuice. "He was dead anyways… How was Beetlejuice supposed to know that Marion was married, it's not like he paid any attention in histo-" The air grew with a tension that made Juno incredibly uncomfortable, she stopped and sucked in a breath.

"Fine, what do you want to do about it then?" She asked after along pause with her head resting on her hand, as if she suddenly had trouble keeping it held up.

"Personally I'd love to exorcise him before he can cause any more trouble than he has alre-"

"No." Juno sat up and waved her hand, "No, Beetlejuice might be a pest, but exorcism isn't the answer. We'll just, keep him on a shorter leash. You know really restrict him. Let's have a meeting, call the whole Council together. Then we'll call Beetlejuice…"

The head Councilman shook his head, "I don't know how you can still deal with him for centuries, but who am I to judge?" He shrugged.

"I don't know, I guess I thought I could trust him." Juno mused, "He started out carrying paperwork for me, filing things you know… It went on for the first few hundred years, but when it was apparent he wasn't remembering his powers or his life before death I mean. I figured I could send him out for small things. You know, checking up on Pharaoh, supervising those Mayan sacrifices… He just did so well." She trailed off,

"And the whole William Wallace thing that was the first time I'd ever heard of him doing something _stupid_." She said matter-of-factly shaking her finger accenting her words, "He's been good for me, and it's not like he even _committed_ suicide he doesn't belong here like we do." She suddenly was very focused on the nails of her right hand as the Councilman stood there in utter silence.

"So if you don't have a problem with him…" Juno broke the silence.

"Oh no I assure you we have quite a problem on our hands." The Councilman nodded.

"Then call a damn meeting!" Juno yelled at him losing her patience; the stupid Council always beat around the bush it took years, decades, centuries, even, to get them to agree to _begin_ to do anything.

Suddenly with a flash Juno was seated in another larger room, along with the three other Council members the head Councilman was seated on a very high chair. Juno looked up at them. "So what do you want to do about Beetlejuice?"

The four of them whispered amongst themselves for a few minutes. Then the feminine sounding Councilmember spoke up.

"We've discussed many things to employ but the largest rule we need to implement into the afterlife of your… _assistant_ is a name binding one…."

"Name binding?" Juno asked skeptically, "You know that works both ways, we can summon Beetlejuice, and if someone is annoyed by him they can banish him… But suppose someone actually _wanted_ to summon him?" She trailed off.

"Please Juno, would someone ever _intentionally_ summon Beetlejuice?" The Council erupted into an eerie laughter and Juno just looked grimly at the floor, having an overall _bad_ feeling about the whole thing.

***

Beetlejuice sat on top of the Coliseum twisting the strand of very old rosary beads around his long pale fingers.

What did they mean? He had been carrying them around for centuries, after he had found them in his pockets one day while filing paperwork in Juno's office. He fiddled with the cross on the end, counted the number of beads up and around the chain, when he finished he counted them again.

Whose were they? And more importantly, why were they in _his_ pocket? They were quite old; he could probably hock them and make a pretty penny. But, he couldn't; there was something _special,_ something he just couldn't remember. He shoved them away not wanting to think about the questions he had no answers to, instead he blinked and a mug of whisky was in his hand.

_Now that was more like it!_ He grinned sipping the strong liquor. He liked being able to "juice" things into existence. It really impressed that Marie Antoinette; she had been quite the woman he remembered fondly.

She was an _amazing_ woman, he cackled. It was too bad she had had her head chopped off though; she wasn't quite the same after that when Beetle had found her in the Netherworld.

He absentmindedly took another swig of his whiskey, relishing the feeling of it burning down his throat as he swallowed. He was trying to figure out what to do that day, he had already watched the Declaration of Independence being drawn up a few years ago, and had a fun time there.

Did he want to go follow Napoleon around? It was always fun to mock him and dress up in matching clothes complete with the huge, stupid hat. No he couldn't be bothered. Beetlejuice was the ghost with the most, but he had nothing to do with it.

Truth be told, he was sort of lonely. He ran his fingers through his dirty, blond-ish hair and rubbed the stubble on his chin. He looked terrible he knew that much, and with that whole Revolution in France, there were barely any decent French women left.

What was he supposed to do for _fun_ around here if there was nothing to _do_? He'd already done anything and everything Juno had asked of him and she didn't seem to have a problem with the bio-exorcist business he had started.

But that could just be because she didn't know about his little bio-exorcist business. He grinned devilishly, it was probably a good thing she didn't know about his business. There weren't really many things he couldn't do around here, but it would stink if she made him stop.

It was something that really gave him joy in his dull afterlife, unfortunately business was rather slow. He knew it would take a while for the whole idea to catch on, but its not like he had a limited time, he had forever. God, he rubbed his face, he wished he didn't have forever.

Why was he dead anyway? He mused; he couldn't remember how he died. Physically he didn't show any signs of the death he must have had, like other ghosts around. He didn't have a heart beat, but wasn't that something that all ghosts dealt with? Perhaps he just didn't have a heart. Maybe that was how he died.

He rolled the idea over in his mind a few times, is that why he couldn't love? Because he didn't have a heart? Why even in the best of company he still felt alone? Nah. He rolled his eyes and sucked in his left cheek cringing inwardly at his own stupidity. He couldn't not have a heart; he was the ghost with the most. And that was where his thoughts on the subject ended; he didn't have time to get much deeper or philosophical than that.

Ghost with the most. He loved that name, where had he gotten it again? Oh yes, that French guy. What was his name? Jean? Jacques? Yes, it was Jacques. He had said on one occasion when Beetlejuice had juiced up some drinks for them in the streets of Paris, "You really have the most uncommon items up your sleeves, you have everything! You're the… the ghost with the most!"

Yeah, Beetle loved it, he grinned. It was perfect, the ghost with the most. It described him in every essence that was _him_. Beetlejuice took the last gulp of his whisky, wincing as it burned the back of his throat.

He threw the cup over his shoulder and it disappeared, with a snap. He wondered where things he juiced went. He secretly hoped that they fell on Juno's head, but she hadn't complained so he figured that most not be the case.

He sat back with his hands supporting him and looked out over Rome. It was a nice place. He didn't mind just people watching-

Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted and he was being pulled forcefully through a few dimensions; he hated it, the sucking feeling that made his head feel like it was going one way and his feet like they were being torn in a totally different direction. It wasn't so bad if he did it himself, but if someone summoned him especially without his knowledge or consent it was a hell of an awful ride.

When he stopped he was standing in the center of what appeared to be a large room, he opened his mouth to let some very choice words flow forth to the offending summoner who he thought was Juno. But when he saw the whole Council _and_ Juno standing around he kept his mouth shut. To his knowledge only Juno had the ability to call him, no one else could. Had she done it? Or was it _them_?

"Beetlejuice." One of the spectral Council members boomed. Beetlejuice turned up to look at the source of the voice; a wispy black spirit, hovering near a podium. His face twisted in annoyance but he did his best to hide it as to be on his best behavior in front of the Council. They could make his life a living hell.

"What do you _want_ from me?" He asked, exasperated, and starting to feel a heat in his face from the whisky.

"You have been violating your terms of poltergeist servitude." The Councilman began, "Defacing of property, unlawful expulsion of the Living from their homes, romantic relations with living people" Beetlejuice smirked at this one and he noted a cold stare from Juno out of the corner of his eye, "possession of alcohol, improper recycling of spectral items…" Beetlejuice began to drift away mentally; the guy just wouldn't _shut up_.

"AND bad hygiene. Need I go on?" The Councilman finished and Beetlejuice slowly brought his attention back, which had been drifting away to some of the "romantic relations" that had been mentioned.

"We are amending the Handbook right now; and it has to do with you Beetlejuice. You're causing more trouble than what you're worth and it needs to end. You're getting your _own _set of rules Beetlejuice." The booming, and semi-disembodied voice said matter-of-factly, slamming the Handbook on the podium.

"Here take them and _read_ them." Juno shoved a new edition of the Handbook into Beetlejuice's hands, he jumped slightly, he had been so focused on the Council he hadn't even heard Juno creep up behind him.

"The first rule is this: anyone can summon or banish you; all they need to do is say your name three times. We'll leave you to read over the rest of your rules."

"Say my name three times? How is that even a _punishment?!_" Beetlejuice cackled slightly, scoffing at the overall stupidity of the Council. "Really you guys should stick it wh-"

"Beetlejuicebeetlejuicebeetlejuice!" The female Council member shrieked, obviously completely done hearing, seeing, and smelling Beetlejuice for the next few centuries and as soon as he had been standing there, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice was gone.

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A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update! I hope to get another update coming your way in a more timely fashion next time…

Thanks for the read!! Oh and I don't own Beetlejuice. I just love him, Tim Burton owns him, and I like to write stories about him. No copyright infringement intended. =3


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